Aug 1st, 2012 11:45pm
22.5/365
I’m happy right now. I don’t really care about anything but seeing you. I’m so excited jejssjanbas I know it won’t happen but if it does, AHHHHHHhBh hehe
Aug 1st, 2012 9:02am
20/365
“with you I breathe” With you, I feel lovely. I wish to feel lovely. I want to be lovely but I can’t be lovely if you won’t be lovely with me, love.
19/365
Jul 26th, 2012 3:30pm
It’s nice to be away from home. I really don’t have a problem with it and it’s really nice up here. It does suck with the weather being all hot but it’s not as hot here as it is in florida. In Florida it’s higher than 90 degrees while here in ct it only gets as high as 80’s. The walking here is pretty tiresome though. My feet are constantly hurting now and i’m just like “feet stop it :c “
Meh, that was it, yeah okay bye.
18/365
Jul 19th, 2012 3:07am
I’m happy and that is all.
17/365
Jul 18th, 2012 4:38am
Im so scared for Saturday if I see you. I mean, I’m picking up all the pieces and working everything out but like when you see me, what if everything changes? And by change, you won’t talk to me, you won’t want to see me, I just won’t even exist to you. I over think everything when it comes to you. L
16/365
jul 12th, 2012 4:22am
I should really quit while I still have a chance, I should stop kidding myself and realize what I really want this situation to be is probably not what it actually is. There’s no way it is. It’s never going to be and me talking to you isn’t going to change. I’m just going to slowly disappear. I mean, I just now realized that i’m hurting her, probably you as well. I just don’t want this anymore.
15/365
Jul 8th, 2012 10:17pm
Was supposed to go home from lonnies, but that didn’t quite work out. I’m still up here and i have no clue to when i’m going to be home. I don’t mind being up here so i don’t really care to when i’m going home. The only thing is, i did have just a few plans that i wanted to carry on with but it’s quite impossible now. Theres always a next time, right?
13/365
Jul 7th, 2012 4:16pm
This is for yesterday. I got home late so I completely forgot to post. But any who, I had gone out to river ranch with my aunt, Lonnie and his family. It was nice to be out. I haven’t been to river ranch in over three years. It all looked the same, but it didn’t matter. Because river ranch looks the same all the time but each time you go, the experience is different. This time, we were all in the water, and blah. I want to go back.
12/365
Jun 29th, 2012 5:45am
I was up all night again. I mean sleeping is dumb. I was listening to sleeping with sirens all night/day. Since you played it in the car, i’ve been really hooked. Especailly when you asked “When you listen to this song, who do you think of?” Becuase when i listen to this song, i think of you. I really do. You were on my mind this morning. Running through my brain, i swear you were running faster than i was on my jog at 6 this morning. I couldn’t get you out of my head. And when i went to bed finally, you again took over and i dreamed of you. I know that sounds really creepy but it wasn’t creepy at all. Well, then again what is creepy? I don’t even know. But anywho, in my dream it seemed like everything was normal again. And by normal, i mean us. We were what we used to be, but then again what were we? Lovers? Friends? People? Who knows, the thing was that we were happy, so i think. But back to my dream, we were on the couch and i was leaning on you and you were playing with my hands, running your hands through my hair and i don’t know, it was nice. But then i woke up and realized that it wasn’t real and that it wouldn’t ever be anymore. It’s like i have no clue what’s going on with me.
“Stay for tonight
If you want to
I can show you
What my dreams are made of,
as I’m dreaming of your face
I’ve been away for a long time
Such a long time
And I miss you there
I can’t imagine being anywhere else
I can’t imagine being anywhere else but here”
- James Dean & Audrey Hepburn, Sleeping With Sirens
11/365
Jun 28th, 2012 1:16am
It’s been forever since i’ve actually updated this. Well, Ryland has been at band camp this week so i haven’t been you know on oovoo with him like i usually am. I miss him, i do i do. It’s like since i haven’t been busy talking to him because i can’t talk to him, i’ve made plans to keep me busy. Well tried to anyways, i mean i really don’t have friends or anything. Shelby just doesn’t seem to like me anymore. Mariah is busy with cummunity service. I would try ashley but it’s really awkward with it being her and i with her mom. I just have no one to hang out with.
i need friends and stuff
